Riding Tandem

00:00:00 - Speaker A
Welcome to Tandem Works Works, a podcast about building businesses, leadership and creating positive impact for our communities. I'm your host, Vivian Kvam and I invite you to ride Tandem Works with me as I have candid conversations with inspiring business owners, leaders and experts who are building on their dreams and creating impact. Get ready to be encouraged and learn practical tactics to help us build successful businesses, become incredible leaders, and have positive ripple effects. Let's go. Hi there, fellow entrepreneurs. Welcome back to Tandem Works Works. I am your host, Vivian Kvam, and I'm here to get real with you today about stress and burnout and a few ideas I use to help manage these things. This podcast is all about encouraging and giving expert ideas and frankly, just sharing real stories of entrepreneurs so that you are encouraged on your own journey. And because it can feel so lonely at times like I hear entrepreneurs so often, it feels like you're alone on an island. But we're not alone. We have each other. We have podcasts like these. That's the whole point of putting this podcast together. We have great communities around us if we can just tap in. So that's what we're doing here today, is we are coming together and we're going to just tap in and have a really great candid conversation. Today I'm going to share some real stories from my own entrepreneurial journey. I've had, quite frankly, a stressful couple of weeks leading up to this episode, and I've been really challenged to practice what I preach when it comes to stress and burnout as an entrepreneur, as a leader, as a co founder, as a good partner, because it's a real thing. And I know that I'm not alone in experiencing this because I've been around long enough to have had conversations with people and to realize that this is something that so, well, not so many, all of us experience at one point or another because it's real. And the point of this podcast is to be real. And that's why we bring entrepreneurs on who tell and share their real storiEs. That's why we give real advice and we have real talk, like we're going to do today. So till today, let's talk about this juicy topic, how to take care of yourself when the hustle leaves you feeling like a crispy, burnt marshmallow. Do you like that line? I'm like riding away and I'm just sitting here and I was like, yes, that's what it feels like sometimes, a crispy, burnt marshmallow. Now, the thing here is I said the word hustle and in some ways. I have a love hate relationship with the word hustle. It gets thrown around a lot in our world, in the entrepreneur world, as business owners, as people thinking about becoming entrepreneurs, becoming business owners, you hear hustle all the time. Hustle is on T shirts, it's on mugs, it's on vinyl, graphics on the wall, it's on notebooks, it's on all the things. And I can certainly appreciate the word hustle, because I do think you have to hustle. Or as Michaela says, sometimes put some skates on your feet. Right? We need to move. It's time to sprint. It's time to run. Things like that. So I do like the word hustle. But on the flip side, I feel like it has gotten some bad connotation, and it has led so many entrepreneurs, business owners like you, like me, to feel like there's this hero persona that goes along with the word hustle. And sometimes hustle can lead to other things. It can lead to burnout, can lead to stress, it can lead to quitting. I mean, there's so many things it can lead to. So I think we just have to be careful with words and really just careful with if we're attaching hero personas to words at times. So let's talk about all of this. I want you to picture this. You've been grinding day in and day out. You're maybe burning the midnight oil, as they say. You're working weekends to catch up on some projects. You keep cramming things a little more into your evenings. Maybe you're getting up earlier and earlier in the morning. I raise my hand there. I'm a morning person, so when I'm feeling stress, I get up earlier and earlier, or I feel I need to to get things done until I crash, which I'll talk about that more here in a bit. Maybe your calendar is a rainbow of color with all the time blocked on it. I know mine is. And all the deadlines are piling in all at once. And then suddenly you hit that wall and you realize that you're running on fumes. Your creative sparks maybe turned into a tiny flicker at best. And I just want to say, before we get further into this episode, I've been there. I know what that feels like. So many of the community that we're building through Tandem Works Works, through the podcasts, we have been there. And so you're not alone. And I just want you to feel that for a moment here, you are not alone. And if there's one thing you take away from this episode, I want it to be that you're not alone and there are resources out there for you, because I truly believe that when we're doing great things, the burden is heavier. And I believe that business owners, entrepreneurs, leaders, you are doing great things. And so your burden is heavy at times, and that can lead to the stress and to the burnout. And it can be so easy, again to feel like you're alone. And so I just want that to resonate loud and clear throughout this whole episode. You're not alone. I have been experiencing some of this recently, like I said, because it's real life and this is what happens, and we can't avoid these feelings. It's just natural. It's a buildup. And so I was starting to feel some of that coming on and I thought it'd be great to dive into. So if you're not my friends, we're going to be diving in headfirst into this beautiful world of self care for entrepreneurs. So I want you to grab some water because that's a great place to start. It didn't make it into my top six list here, although it probably should have. So that's why I'm bringing it up now, because hydration is important and it's key when it comes to stress and regulating yourself. Okay, so I want you to settle in for a candid chat about stress. So here we go. So first thing first, we have to talk about the B word. And the B word is burnout. And Burnout is kind of like, I like to use party analogies. Burnout is like a pesky guest at a party who just won't leave sometimes. But I want you to remember you're the boss here. This is literally your show. You are the leader, you are the entrepreneur. You do own your business. So you're the boss. And Burnout is not. And so our job as the boss and the leader is to show burnout the door and to practice this for ourselves and then in turn to help the people around us practice these things as well. And we'll talk more about that here in a moment. So before we dive into these six tips, I have six of them for you besides the water one, you need to know the warning signs, right, of stress and burnout so that you can be prepared and not find yourself in the mire when you're like, neck deep, which if you're neck deep right now, my friend, I want you to know there is still hope, but it's much easier to catch this stuff when you're only say, like dipping your toe in or your ankles deep or your knees deep. Right. And so that's where I'm finding myself right now. I'm kind of feeling it coming. I can feel the water rising. And so I am almost doing this episode today to have a little chat with myself. So thanks for giving me the platform. Okay, so, first off, you need to recognize the signs. So how do you know if you're experiencing burnout? Well, common signs tend to include things like feeling physically and emotionally drained. And I want to pause for a minute. Physically, physical things that happen within our body, we often ignore. And we will wait until we're kind of in that mental space, but your body starts telling you that you're burning out. Oftentimes, I think, before our emotions even do. So be watching for those things. It can be reduced motivation, and maybe it's decreased productivity. Entrepreneurial burnout can manifest itself in many different ways. Various different ways. But there are four common signs to watch out for. So let's talk about those ones. Okay, so, first one is chronic fatigue. So, feeling constantly tired and drained. This is, like, constant, right? Like, there are days where you wake up, you're a little tired, you're a little fatigued. This is where it's chronic. It's going on and on and on, and it's both physical and mental. It can be a significant sign of burnout. And you may find it literally, like, frankly, challenging to get out of bed in the morning. Right. Because there's just a lack of energy to tackle, even, like, daily routines. That's chronic fatigue. Another one would be decreased motivation and productivity. So burnout so often can lead to a significant decrease in motivation and productivity, and you may be struggling to concentrate on your work. I call that brain fog. And you might find it hard to complete tasks. Or maybe you're just losing interest in projects that once really excited you and you know that your interest hasn't really changed. You don't seem to be able to latch your brain onto them. Okay, so the next one would be increased irritability and negativity. This is a real one. And the people around you, I think, are really good at helping you spot this one. And you want to have your radar up for this, because entrepreneurs experiencing burnout so often become irritable, impatient, negative, and even the smallest setbacks. Your kid spills a glass of water, and you're just, like, wrecked, right? And you're yelling, and you're upset. Like, the smallest things trigger you that normally wouldn't. And once you would have handled those, so easily. But now it's just like, instant frustration and anger. You're not able to regulate yourself at all. And no one is at their best when they're angry. And this is where I have been in situations in the past where I have felt so much stress and burnout, and it has led to things where I've literally stood up. And I'm not proud of this at all. I think I've shared this before in one of the episodes, I've literally stood up and yelled at my team. And that was not a moment that I ever want to relive. AnD it was years ago, early on in one of the first companies I owned. But my stress level and my burnout was through the roof. And I would say the anger and negativity piece is, for me, one of the last warning signs. Like, I've had a lot of other warning signs, and then it's that piece for me. And then I know that I am neck deep at that point. So watching for those, and those are the things that can really damage relationships. Right. And we're not here to do that. We're here to build up an amazing world. And so we'll talk about some tips that I have for you. So you're not at that point where you are embarrassingly standing in the middle of your company yelling at your team, because that is not a moment that you want to be standing in. Okay. Another one would just be physical and emotional health issues. Burnout can have a range of physical and emotional health symptoms. They could include headaches, stress, headaches, stomachaches, sleep disturbances, depression, a weakened immune system, maybe getting sick all the time. That has definitely happened to me. Anxiety. Right. And so, over time, burnout can even lead to more severe health problems if they're not addressed, because stress is, like, the number one killer. Right. And entrepreneurs are under so much stress, or they can be. And so that can really start to have a huge effect on your health. And this was true for me a few times through my business ownership journey. There are a few times where it became super severe. There was one, in fact, where I was unable to walk. All my joints swelled up. It was terrible. I've had terrible, terrible fatigue, brain fog, just unable to focus or think. My right arm shook uncontrollably. I've had multiple other health issues that have sprung up, and many of these were especially. I can pinpoint pretty much everything I just mentioned there early on in my entrepreneurial career, because I didn't know how to handle it. Right. I didn't know how to manage that stress. So it is crucial. I know, like, you're like, gosh, what a downer episode. I promise I'm getting to some more upbeat and great tips for you here, so don't leave yet. If I have lost you, come back to me. It's crucial, though, to recognize the signs and to take steps early to address burnout. That way you can prevent them becoming more severe, right? And implementing self care practices, seeking support, making necessary adjustments to your work. It can help mitigate so many of the effects of burnout and promote your overall well being. Which means you in turn can go have great ripple effect on so many others around you. So let's start with the tip, shall we? I promise it gets a little more beat from here. In fact, tip number one is use the buddy system. So I just want to say the most important thing is to seek support and talk to a trusted friend or a mentor or a therapist or your partner or your spouse about your feelings of burnout. Just name it. It's huge. You need a buddy in this, right? At least one budy. You can have multiple buddies because they can provide valuable insights, emotional support. So just today, I texted Michaela, my business partner, and told her, hey, I'm feeling a little edgy. I'm feeling a little bit of stress creep in. I said, I'm going to need a little bit of the Michaela sprinkles that you're going to tell me that it's all going to work out. It's going to be fine. And what I was doing is I was identifying my emotions, making sure someone else knew about it, so I wasn't alone in it. And she, of course, offered some ideas. But the most important thing was for me to share it and name it, acknowledge it, and to draw somebody in. So I was not alone. And then I also told my husband so he was aware and able to offer some personal emotional support as well. And he just gave me a big hug. And that is just calming. So helpful. So it's better also to mention it to people because then everyone around you is not wondering why you're blowing your top right later or why you seem more on edge. And that can lead to all kinds of miscommunication and misunderstandings or anger and all those things. So instead, because I let them in and I was able to identify it, they're able to help me with practical ideas as well as treat me with compassion. And I, in turn, am treating them with compassion by letting them in, right? Because they're significant people in my life. And it's important for them to know to have, like, a temperature check on what's going on. Okay, so that's tip number one, use the buddy system, pull somebody in. Tip number two, I want you to take short breaks and shake that booty. So, yes, you heard me right. Shake your booty. In other words, dance, groove, wiggle, move, do whatever kind of floats your boat, but you got to get that body moving, and that's huge for me. Today I got on the treadmill, I cranked up the music and I just ran. And then I lifted weights and then I did some push ups and I just got my body moving to some really great tunes. You'll be amazed at how much it helps release those endorphins. It is scientifically proven that if you move your body and you exercise, it releases endorphins, and that's going to help with your mood. Plus, it takes a little mini party, right? It's like you get this little mini party going and who doesn't love a good party? It's great. And so it really can boost your mood if dance isn't your style. Like I said, walk around the block, do some jumping jacks, get a standing decks with a treadmill underneath of it, lift a few weights, keep some weights next to your desk. That is a tip that a friend and mentor and coach helped me with. Her name's Tiffany Florentine. She was on the episode a few episodes back. So I'm going to link to hers because she has some great tips for just physically using your body to help with this. So she was like, keep a couple of weights next to your desk and then just pump some iron. You know what I mean? In between a stressful meeting and things like that, you could do some jumping jacks and do some jumping jacks in a circle or while you're looking out the window. It doesn't have to be a dance party, but the point here is to get your body moving and shake it up a little bit. And then I think it's super helpful to have a really great playlist. So I have a couple of different playlists that I keep on hand for various moods that I'm in, and I know if I'm starting to hit a certain mood, I'll hit the playlist, and then I move my body in whatever capacity I'm able to do in the moment. Okay, tip number two, unplug and recharge. So with this particular one, I'm not talking about short breaks like I was above, right. This is where we're talking about taking a day or a few hours to unplug from work, unplug from social media, unplug from the digital world, and reconnect with yourself, reconnect with the analog world. Read a book, take a nature walk. Simply lay in a hammock. One of my favorite things to do, gaze at the clouds, watch the trees move. Right. If it's snowing, watch the snow falling through the window. Trust me, it's like a reset button for your soul. And it's so important to do. And you may have to schedule this ahead, and we'll talk about that here in a little more. But if possible, look at your calendar. If you're feeling on edge and it is just really like you're starting to get in that neck deep place, you've got to look at your calendar and just say no to a couple of things and make a little space here, and it might just be an hour, right? And then the next time, try to make it 2 hours and get yourself all the way up to a day and try for a day about once a month to just unplug and recharge. So huge. I think that, again, that hustle word, we can hustle too hard and we need to unplug, and I don't see unplug and recharge on enough sweatshirts and mugs, so maybe I'll get some of those made. If you do only have, say, 1020 minutes and you're just really feeling in the middle of it, take a break, lay on the floor, and breathe. It's one of the things that I do at home all the time, and I've done at the studio, in the office as well. I just will lay on the floor or lay on the couch, stare at the ceilIng, and just really breathe. But try to get yourself a longer period of time. Okay. I just, this past weekend, have a lot of things on my plate. I still had to address those things, and so I did. But I spent time watercolor painting, and I spent some time outside just looking at the clouds. If you can spend time in nature, at the park, looking out the window, or maybe do a real, actual hike. I love hiking. Keep in mind, multiple studies have shown that time in nature is a literal antidote for stress and burnout. It can lower your blood pressure and stress hormone levels. Like, they have actually hooked people up to things and seen this happen. It reduces nervous system arousal. It enhances your immune system function. Remember, we're talking about stress actually inhibits your immune system, and it reduces nervous system arousal enhances that immune system function, increases self esteem. It reduces anxiety. I'm going through my whole list here. I had a whole list I wrote down. It improves your mood. So basically, being in nature rewires your brain. And I think some of this is because you realize how small you are in a big, beautiful picture and how it's like you're small and significant and insignificant at the same time. And there's just something amazing about that. And you can find so much inspiration in nature, you just start to think of things in such different ways. Okay, tip number three. Treat yourself. Treat yourself to something special. A spa day, your favorite dessert, a favorite cup of coffee. Maybe it's treating yourself to working off site, right? Even just a little quiet afternoon of just doing what you love. Like, I did my watercolor paintings over the weekend. I loved it because you do deserve it and you've worked hard. And it's good to treat yourself a little bit, to have a physical, tangible recognition of the fact that you're valuable and you're worth it. And sometimes just telling ourselves that isn't enough. We need something to commemorate that. Like a little. Almost like a ceremony, rIght? Like, I'm buying this cupcake for myself as a ceremony, as a treat, because I'm worth it. Or I'm going to let myself just have a quiet afternoon and pet my dog, right? Here's a little bonus on this one. Treat not just yourself, but people around you as well. So think about your team. Maybe it's vendors, maybe it's a client, maybe it's a spouse, a friend, a partner who has been supporting you as well. And include them on a little special treatment. So take them with you to the spa. There's something really powerful about experiencing a nice treat together and recognizing that you both are worth it. Right? Because I guarantee if you're on an entrepreneurial journey or you find yourself in a leadership position, you're not doing it alone. You have people around you, and they're probably feeling that stress and fatigue very much like you are along with you. Okay, next up, I want to talk about just the idea that you. So this is tip number four. You don't have to do it alone, right? So delegation here is really what the tip is. And I don't know why we keep trying to do it alone. So hear me here, entrepreneurs. You don't have to do it all alone. So why do you keep trying, right? Delegate tasks that don't light your fire and focus on what truly matters. It is literally like having a superhero team to support you. It's less stress, there's more success. So while we're on this tip, I want to suggest that you not only delegate in the moment to clear some space on your calendar, literally look at what is taking all of your time and get some of it off your calendar or off of your plate immediately so that you can rest and take breaks like we've been talking about. But bonus here. Plan for the future. Consider the long term sustainability of your workload. Are there ways to automate tasks, hire more help or streamline a process? Right. Get a calendar out and block your time so you can get a real idea of what's ahead. Then decide what to say no to and what to delegate out for your future self as well. Right. Because if you're feeling the stress and burnout now, you know your future self is going to be feeling it as well. So help her not feel that stress. Help your future self not feel that stress. Okay, finally, let's talk about this next tip here. Celebrate your wins. We're often so busy chasing the next big thing that we forget to pat ourselves on the back for the milestones we've already conquered. We're often stressed about whatever it is in front of us or honestly, it's usually things that we can't control that are in the future and we don't take a moment to celebrate your achievements, right? Big or small, you are a rock star and I don't want you to forget it. So something we do on our team is every week we use the EOS system Entrepreneur operating system, and we have an L Ten meeting, a level ten meeting. And part of our meeting, the first part actually, that we do is we do personal and professional best. So everyone goes around the group and they just say, my personal best for the week was this. And my professional best for the week was this. It is such a practical way to celebrate wins together. I can't tell you how often someone's like, yeah, that is super awesome. I can't believe that you got that done or you did that or that's amazing. And you also did this, this and this. Right? It's funny how we will often stack on wins for each other when we're doing our personal professional best. But it's huge. We also have a same page meeting that's just for Michaela and I, and we do this here, too. We celebrate our wins, right? What have we done? Really well, before we jump into all the issues and all the things that need to happen, tell your partner and your friends about your wins, even if they're not part of your business, and ask them to celebrate with you again. Remember, the people around you are feeling a lot of what you're feeling, the people who are close to you. So be sure to include them in celebrating in those wins as well, and then share wins as a team and with clients, it is absolutely okay to be like, hey, our team did a really great job and we want you, our clients, to know about it. And that's a really great way to relieve stress and to realize, like, hey, things are actually going well. It's a beautiful way to do that. So a little celebration goes a long way in lifting moods and boosting your energy and just really relighting your fire. And sometimes you have to stop and remind yourself you're doing great things, amazing things, and oftentimes things that a lot of people out there would never even attempt. I wanted that to sink in for a minute. When you're feeling stressed and burnout, remember that more than likely you are taking on or attempting to take on more than other people would even dream of trying. The fact that you are doing what you're doing now puts you in a league that's very different from many out there. And so, like we talked at the beginning, there's a weight to that. And when you're carrying that weight, it's so important to celebrate all of the things that you have won, all the weight you've already carried, and you're not carrying anymore. Okay? So give yourself some credit. All right, friends, so that's a wrap for today's episode of Tandem Works Works. I know a little bit different, but I felt like it was just important to talk about because we've got to remember that burnout is just like a speed bump. Right. If we don't turn it into something more, it can be just a speed bump on that whole road to our goals, our road to success. If we're careful about it, the speed bump can turn into a whole host of problems if we let it. But having some good self care tips and practices ready to go in your pocket, it's like you're. I'm on these analogies here. It's like you're on the road. There's a speed bump, but you have your GPS, right? And so your GPS keeps you on course. Yeah. You're going to hit the speed bump. Yes. Things are going to ratle around in the car. No, it's not going to be comfortable, but your GPS is going to keep you on track anyway. Even if you feel like you're swerving all over the road. It'll get you back there. So little recap here. Remember the buddy system. So get somebody on board with you. I want you to shake the booty, right? So move your body, unplug and recharge like a for real, unplug and recharge. Treat yourself a tangible treat or a physical treat of some kind that you can see, feel, taste, smell something. Delegate and elevate to other people and for your future self. And don't forget to celebrate your wins. These are all tips that help so much with stress and when you just feel like you have the hustle, burnout. So friends, I would love to hear what you are doing for self care and how you are handling stress and burnout as an entrepreneur, as a leader in your position. And I'm super easy to get in touch with through social media over on Facebook or Instagram are the best ones. I'm trying to get better at checking my LinkedIn because it's a good thing. Facebook and Instagram, you can get a hold of me there. I check those, my team checks those. You can also just shoot me an email so you can shoot me an email anytime. To writingtandom@thetandomworks.com. And I would love to hear from you what helps you, what encourages you. What from this episode today might you try out what from this episode today have you tried and maybe it was helpful for you? And what are tips you would add? I would love to know because I think this would be a really great topic to expand on and to talk about more. There's so many different ways, so many different avenues we can go with this. And that's the whole point of this podcast, is to bring you information that's encouraging real stories and help you remember. Like, you're not alone, right? So be sure to look me up, shoot me one of those. An email with what your thoughts are and just what you think of this episode and others. And as always, I want you to keep working towards your dreams, right? And most importantly, while you're doing that, make sure you're taking care of you. You've got to take care of you to be able to take care of the people around you too. And that's just so true. So until next time, stay well, my fellow entrepreneurs, and I'll see you in the next episode.